He straight up did not notice it happening. He's autistic and did not pick up on it until I told him outright, and by then it was a pattern. He and the DM definitely both tried to tell Brian to cool it at various points (even though neither is confrontational), and I don't blame my husband at all for not noticing the accumulation of microagressions; he definitely noticed the big overt swings and was also bothered by it, but these were his co-workers (he and Brian even shared an office) so big confrontations, even if they were his style, would not have been appropriate.