Poetry (nonmonetized)
The Gay Agenda
Poems I wrote in quarantine, part 2.
There is no collective bargaining for us
No HR department mediating conflict
No board of ethics,
Annual meetings,
Budget proposals,
Or fucking synergy.
I am alone,
Picking up pieces of myself off the side of the highway.
You are alone,
Tracing your lover’s lips with a fingertip
And feeling a thousand miles apart.
We are alone,
Whether or not we band together.
The Gay Agenda won’t make room for us
It isn’t a scheduled operation with regular check-ins
There is no manifesto to flip the pages of history text books
Or to throw on the table during job interviews
Because we are alone.
Your human rights commission doesn’t mean shit
If it’s all talk and no action, no benefit
Millions of people without health insurance
Bleeding on a hotel mattress
Scared to go to the hospital
Afraid that they’ll want to “fix” you too.
I am alone,
Sitting in front of the television set with my heart breaking.
You are alone,
Hiding in the closet wearing your mother’s high heels.
We are alone,
Marching cold streets in the rain and wondering why there’s less turnout this year.
I have a business proposal,
But no one does non-profit anymore.
If you can’t capitalize on my labour,
I don’t fit into the system.
Labours of love brought me into this world
And poverty can take me right back out of it.
I had a pink backpack in grade school,
A matching pencil case and sharpener,
And the agenda they made you buy for $10
With the plastic ruler clipped into the middle.
That $10 could have meant a dinner or a lunch
But instead lined the school’s pockets
Who never did a damn thing for me in my too-small clothes
And hand-me-down pink backpack
That belonged to my sister first.
I was alone.
I had an agenda but I was alone.
I had a pink backpack but I was alone.
I ate my cheese sandwich alone,
That weird girl who smelled or wore glasses or hung out with the janitor
Was alone.
My agenda now is to make it through the winter.
My agenda now is to get out of the cycle of hand-to-mouth.
My agenda now is to be healthy.
My agenda now is to love and be loved.
My gay-ass agenda is covered in rainbow stickers
And it’s raising its middle finger at your synergy.
